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Feeding Time

A Dummies guide to Flerken care

Any dummy can own a Flerken but can any dummy look after a Flerken? Well in this guide we will give you the basics of Flerken care so even a dummy like you can look after it without even a scratch or worst still DEATH. 

The most basic need of a Flerken is food, so just like you it needs to eat otherwise it gets hungry which leads to being angry and the last thing you want is an angry Flerken!

Basic items include:

  1. FOOD, make sure there is as much variety as possible. Flerkens will pretty much eat anything and i mean ANYTHING so the choice is yours. Maybe try an old car tire, a broken hoover, a sofa (or chair), an old smelly trainer, some lego, brussel sprouts and broccoli or maybe someone you dislike.

  2. LADDER, depending on the size of your Flerken you may need a bigger ladder or a small step ladder. The important thing here is distance; you do not want to get too close.

  3. SAFETY EQUIPMENT, always remember safety first!(or safety last). The last thing you want to do is get grabbed by a tentacle otherwise it WILL be the last thing you do. You will need: A large pair of rubber gloves, some washing up liquid, alternatively oil or slime if you don't have any washing up liquid. A large stick to poke or prod, a bucket and finally a gas mask.


How to feed your Flerken:

  1. Set up the ladder next to its shell, try to avoid the ladder touching the shell because it will nudge it and may make your Flerken angry (Flerkens hate sudden noises or movement).

  2. Put all the small food items in a box or container ready to carry up the ladder, any larger items you cannot fit in your container you will need to line them up next to the ladder ready to be shoved up (you may need assistance from a grown up or a person you don't like, just in case things turn bad).

  3. Put on all your safety gear (if your getting help from a grown up make sure they have safety gear as well, unless you don't like them). First put on your gas mask, make sure it's secure, you don't want to catch a whiff of your Flerkins breath. Next fill a bucket with either slime, oil or washing up liquid and dip your gloves in (this will make sure that if you are grabbed the tentacles will slip off you easily).

  4. Grab the food and the long stick and climb up the ladder. Make sure to keep a distance. Use the long stick to open the lid of your Flerkens shell (do NOT try and open it with your hands because it will slip and fall on them). Make sure to keep the long stick close by to poke or prod your Flerkens tentacles if required.

  5. Now take an item out of the box and hold it out as far as you can over your Flerken. Once the Flerken grabs the item make sure to LET GO. Flerkens can be very fast especially when they are extra hungry so don't be scared just be quick. any larger items will just need to be shoved on top of the Flerken as best you can.

  6. Good Luck, you’ll need it!


Have you got a new thing-a-me-bob? Have you lost half of your metal objects in your kitchen? Are you not sure how to take care of it? Here’s how. Read on.


You will need:

  • A new, full pen (black ink preferred).

  • A 25ml can of oil.

  • A steel pot.

  • A ladder (depending on how tall it is).

  • 10 bottle tops, 25 pennies (money not people).

  • Oven gloves.

  • Christmas tree decorations.


How to prepare the meal.

  1. At 11am put on your oven gloves and take out the steel pot and 25ml can of oil.

  2. Pour 15ml’s of oil into the pot, then take your 10 bottle tops and put them into the oil.

  3. Now, heat it all up on the stove until the oil is bubbling and the bottle tops have melted before adding the 25 pennies.

  4. Take the pot off the stove at 12 o’clock and put it in the freezer for 20 minutes.

  5. After that, squirt the ink onto the icy mixture and then start pouring the rest of the oil onto the top. Freeze it for 3 more minutes.

  6. Take the ladder and then open the hatch at the top of the thing-a-me-bob’s head. Let the ice slide into the mechanics on the inside.

  7. Treat your thing-a-me-bob to a few Christmas tree decorations for being a good thing-a-me-bob.


You can now take care of a thing-a-me-bob.


Note: Thing-a-me-bobs only need to be fed once a month. Phew.




Have you seen a strange metal thing roaming the streets of town? Are you up for the challenge of looking after it
 Or do you already own a metal thing but are struggling to look after it? Well if that’s you carry on reading to ensure your metal thingamajig has a safe and happy life


What you need

  • A collection of old unused metal objects which should be kept in a box out of reach of your metal thing
  • Old clogs, empty tins, round magnets, metal bottle tops are all suitable for the majority of the metal things. They like there round metal objects.
  • Some metal things don’t like round metal objects, it may give them stomach pains. It’s caused because they have had a lack of rectangular objects. This is called circleobia. Once you feed it some rectangular metal objects they will burp. Don’t worry, this means the pain has been released and they are happy once again.
  • Depending on the height of your thing, a ladder may be required 

Normally a thingamajig’s front teeth are approximately 2 inches long! You will need bite proof gloves up to your elbow,

Feeding your thing

  1. First make sure you have the food in a box, a ladder and your bite proof gloves ready
  2.  2) Climb up your ladder (if you need to use it) and have your gloves on if you don’t they may bite your arm off.
  3. Take one piece of food from the box and only one. If you put more than that in his mouth there is a high risk of it chocking.
  4. Put the food on the palm of your hand and the thing should come and eat it.
  5. Repeat this process until you hear a loud burp which means he is happy and does not need anymore.






~ Feeding a Marine Mutant~

 Have you got Marine Mutant? Do you know how to look after his needs? Read    on and find out how to take care of your Marine Mutant and learn how to give him

the life he deserves.


      Things you will need…

  • Ladder (depending on the size of your creature),

  • Thick fabric gloves (we don't want to lose an arm!)

  • A collection of recyclable materials, eg- glass, cans, bottles,

       ~ Instructions~

  1. First of all, you will need to make sure your gloves are on your hands because when these creatures bite it hurts!! 

  2. Ok, now you are geared up, you need your food by your side so when you go to feed, it is right there. 

  3. Position the ladder wherever is easiest, I recommend somewhere where there is some space. 

  4. Now that you’re ready, using your gloved hands, put your hand up (the one with the food in) and drop it into the mouth of you Marine Mutant. Be cautious you don't get nipped whilst doing so. 

  5. I recommend doing this every few days depending on how much food they need. 

 Have you got a metal thing and you don't know how to feed it? Yes? Well follow these steps and you will be a thing feeding expert in no time.


You will need 


. A ladder (height dependent on your metal thingies size).

. Some hard food plastic or metal only.

. A lid to your container or door to wherever you keep your metal thingy to protect you from any churned up sharp pieces of metal that can be sprayed across the room by your metal thingy.

. A full set of protective armor for if your metal thingy gets excited or angry.

. A cardboard box or metal box to store your creatures food. 



Make sure you are out of the room before your thingy starts eating.



  1. Make sure you have all your protective gear on.

  2. Preparing your food, cogs and bottles are always appreciated.

  3. Set up your ladder next to your monster and adjust to the perfect height.

  4. Put all the food in a box and place the box in the container or room that you keep your thing in. 

  5. Quickly shut the lid and run away out of the room.

  6. After 5 to 10 minutes peer through the door and if your thing is asleep you have successfully fed your thing.

  7. If you want to, you can soak your thing in oil. This will make it sleep for longer so you can tidy up the extreme amount of mess your metal thing has created. Make sure you still wear the gear when tidying because most metal thing’s saliva is poisonous. 


If you have any problems, complete the steps again.

How to feed Tentacles


Don't be put off by his size, he's a loving beast, but his hunger gets the better of him sometimes. 


It's best to feed him every hour to avoid him getting grumpy!


You need a box of old Christmas tree decorations. I recommend stars, they go down well every time. He is also a fan of fairy lights and he likes a daily treat of tinsel, especially if it's silver or gold. If you want him to sleep, wash the food down with a bottle of diesel.


How to feed him 


1. Start by getting the food ready in a cardboard box and let him know it's meal time by calling his name.


2. Put on a plastic bodysuit so that you are protected from the poisonous slime he has to offer on his tentacles.


3. Next slowly release the lid as he will be excited for a meal. You may have to climb the ladder to reach his height so make sure you have a sensible pair of shoes.


4. Now start by feeding him the objects one by one so that he doesn't choke on the amount of glass/plastic he is being fed.


5. You will know he's full after he lets out a large fart causing a bad smell to offend your nostrils.  


6. After that, close the lid, descend the ladder and start to fill the capsules up with diesel so that there is something to clean his stomach. The diesel will trickle out of the water outlets in the roof of the capsule until his next meal.

Having trouble with your KEVIN? “What does it eat?” you may ask. Well, here’s a guide to get you started.

  1. KEVINs only eat electronic items, make sure you don’t have anything you don’t want it to eat (watches, phones e.t.c.) on you before feeding.

  2. KEVINs are friendly - you don’t need to worry about them biting you.

  3. You will probably need a step ladder, they are incredibly tall. Make sure your step ladder doesn’t touch them, they don’t respond well to that.

  4. KEVINs are incredibly fussy, so we can’t tell you what to give them; It might love Xboxes but hate Switches. (We don’t advise you feeding them consoles as they are very expensive, give them cheap watches or something, however they might not like certain watches.

  5. You may have noticed that KEVINs are covered in doors and drawers; well, you can put their food in anywhere if you can’t put up with the smell when the top opens.

  6. They don’t need to chew their food and they don’t choke, so pop it right in there!


We hope this guide has given you a happier KEVIN and that your life has been made better (apart from the smell and constant loss of expensive stuff). Send us a picture of your KEVIN! The link to our official website is here: Click Here